It’s easy to get drawn into a negative relationship. It may have started out seemingly perfect, but things seemed to change overnight.

It may be time to decide whether or not the positive attributes
outweigh the negative ones when it comes to your relationship choices.

If you’re unhappy and emotionally drained after a break-up, you might not be feeling too optimistic about throwing yourself back out there. However, opening yourself up to new opportunities is the only way you’re going to reach the happiness you seek.

The best thing you can do is to educate yourself well enough to know what to look for and what to avoid. It’s not a fail-proof plan, but by following certain strategies, you can increase your chances of a lasting relationship. Click here to learn How To Get a Great Guy.

Avoid going back to the wrong person. If you’re feeling particularly lonely, you may feel the urge to go back to someone that’s not right for you. You know they are not right for you, but sometimes loneliness and fear can cause us to want to give it another chance, convincing ourselves that maybe the person will change. Chances are, they won’t.

Try these suggestions to avoid getting involved in negative relationships:

Try some self-love. Put yourself first. Spend time getting to know yourself. Spend some quiet time thinking about what you want and need in a partner. Know that you deserve a great partner and that you are worth taking the time to objectively decide if a person is right for you. Click here to view questions to consider before entering a new relationship.

Spend time getting to know your partner. Focus on getting to know your partner first before getting too serious in the relationship. Schedule dates that allow you to talk more than going to places that encourage intimacy.

Learn your partner’s history. Are there disturbing events in his or her past? It’s clearly best to avoid people who have a history of violence or intense addiction. If they do and you choose to proceed with the relationship, be extra cautious and set the ground rules from the beginning.

Try to have some of the heavy conversations near the
beginning of the relationship. This way if you hit major snags you can either decide to work through it or move on quickly before you are emotionally invested.

Avoid manipulative people. You might not realize it at first, but if you find that you’re being manipulated often, it can prove to be a serious drain on your relationship. If your partner is controlling and always has a selfish motive for their actions, it isn’t the best relationship to be in. Recognize these red flags when you see them and get out before you get too attached.

Make a checklist. Take some time to make a list of the qualities you’d like to see in a partner. Include qualities you like as well as qualities that you dislike. This checklist will help you determine whether the relationship is right for you. Click here for some ideas of questions to consider when starting a relationship.

Relationships can be difficult; it’s just a reality of human nature. The fact that many relationships end shouldn’t have an impact on your hopes for the future. There are plenty of people out there that will be a good match, so it’s okay to avoid relationships that sap your soul.

Remember: you do have a choice! Focus on finding the right partner for you and then take action to make it the positive relationship you’ve always dreamed of. Check out this video for tips on choosing a great partner.